Recently, I learned about a horrifying psychological study and it really reinforced how important it is to unlearn shame and self-deprecating behavior. The words we hear and repeat to ourselves shape our reality, often more than we realize. As artists, this is especially true. The way we think about our work, our talent, and our worth directly affects what we create, how we share it, and whether we allow ourselves to take up space.
In 1939, before ethical research standards existed, psychologist Wendell Johnson and his graduate student Mary Tudor conducted what became known as The Monster Study on 22 orphaned children, ages 6 to 15. They wanted to prove that stuttering was a learned behavior.
One group of children were considered fluent speakers, but over a period of six months, they were continuously treated as though they had a stutter. Tudor told them they were speaking incorrectly, that their speech was flawed, that they needed to be careful, and try harder.
The results were immediate and disturbing. While none of the fluent children in the negative feedback group actually developed a stutter, they began acting like stutterers. They became withdrawn, hesitant, and self-conscious about speaking. They stopped raising their hands and starting doing poorly in class. Their belief that something was wrong with them was enough to change the way they perceived themselves and how they behaved.
In 2001, after hearing about this infamous unpublished study investigative reporter Jim Dyer of the San Jose Mercury News posed as a grad student to access the basement archives at the University of Iowa and uncover the full story. When he reached out to the surviving test subjects and their families, he discovered that many had no idea they had even been part of an experiment. Very unfortunately, the negative psychological effects of the study lasted into adulthood, and in 2007 six victims reached a settlement with the university.
The lesson here is chilling: You don’t have to be broken to believe you are. The mind, when convinced of its own flaws, will act accordingly. These children were considered fluent, yet they absorbed the shame placed upon them so deeply that they began moving through the world as if something was wrong with them. How much of our own self-doubt comes from ideas we’ve internalized that were never true to begin with?
"You're not good enough."
"You’ll never make a living doing this."
"Someone else is already doing it, and better."
"You have to be perfect."
But if shame can shrink us, encouragement can expand us. The way you speak to yourself matters. Imagine what could happen if we told ourselves everyday that we are strong, capable, and worthy of joy.
Try to replace every quiet insult, every dismissal of your own worth, with a gentle reminder that you are learning, growing, and healing. It's hard work, but we can do it.
In creativity,
Alexandra Smith